Monday, November 23, 2009

public space/private space

So I had a conversation with a friend recently, in which we discussed the new word, "annualism" - as in the movie Julie and Julia, in which the protagonist decides to cook every dish in the other protagonist's famous cookbook - in a year. Lately, I see the connections between annualism, marathon running (recent, publicized deaths - much higher numbers of marathon runners recently, resulting in undertrained runners succumbing to the physically taxing exercise), and even NaNoWriMo - as much as there are people I deeply respect who are involved in this last one - people who have been writers forever, who have pursued degrees and careers in writing - but still.

Why, I asked my friend recently, do people take on such projects as knitting, gardening (yes, I garden; I am included in this trendiness, no doubt), cooking each of Julia's dishes in a year - but kosher? They need a project, my friend says. Well, I tell her, if they have the energy and motivation to take on a project, I (naturally, I - for I need a project just as much as them) could direct them to any number of projects that actually have consequences on the daily lives of human beings in their own communities, suffering from hunger, homelessness, inadequate education, or on the natural resources that support their very well-being. If they need a project, I could find them a park to clean or a person to feed.

But, my friend tells me, being involved in such a project would inevitably involve following the orders of a volunteer coordinator, showing up on a certain day at a certain time in an inconvenient location for a beach cleanup or a feed-the-homeless-downtown event. A one-time deal.

Oh. I reflect on this, and it makes me angry. That's not true at all, I say. Anybody can find a need in their very own neighborhood, organize their neighbors, and complete a project of their own from start to finish. Nobody needs to be coordinated by a volunteer coordinator in order to make positive changes in the world.

My friend doesn't believe me. And I have nothing more to say, because I try to think of a time I've done this sort of thing, and I can't. I can think of times I've wanted to do this, times I've come up with workable plans to do this, and I haven't seen them through. I'm a hypocrite.

Hypocrite or no, I come to the following conclusion: annualism is a result of the paralyzing feeling we - we, the privileged - have, that we cannot have any effect on the public sphere. Even in the era of Obama, in the era of Yes We Can and a recommitment to service - we do not believe that we are capable of making changes to the world that all of us share, and in our frustration we search out short projects with a beginning and an end, projects that give a fleeting sense of accomplishment, of self-discipline actualized - projects in the private sphere, projects that give a sense of purpose while having no purpose whatsoever.

And out there, the world continues to spiral in whatever direction we choose for it --

And I recommit myself to the public sphere. I refuse to be a hypocrite.

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